There are MANY myths when it comes to teens and what they think adoption is. I admit, I too, believed many of these myths when I was a teenager. Hence, why I feel this post has such importance and why I will be breaking this post into several parts.
Keep in mind I’m going to answer these myths with my personal experience and the knowledge that I have obtained being in the adoption industry for 13 years now.
I want to bring awareness to the truth of what adoption is and put an end to these myths for good!
Myth #1 The birth mom will regret her decision, to place her baby for adoption, for the rest of her life.
What I hate most about this Myth, is that it implies that birth moms go on to live a life full regret, dismay, and a sense of loss forever… never being able to live a fulfilling life. This could not be further from the truth! Placing my baby for adoption, first off, was my decision and I will defend my decision and not regret my decision for the rest of my life. Once, I made the decision to place my baby for adoption I felt a sense of peace, because I knew I was making this decision based on the best interest of my baby.
With the right support and some counseling, I have been able to deal with the grief and healing process in a positive manner. I do not regret my decision, now 13 years later, I choose to defend my decision because I believe in the adoption process.
The rest of my life? I am happily married with three kids. I run a successful non-profit organization and have a semi-open placement. I strive to live life to the fullest in every way and one of my driving forces behind that, is so my baby can be proud of who her birth mom is.
Myth #2 Birth moms don’t care about their babies and just want to give them away so they can forget.
Forget? I cringe when I hear this Myth. Forget, that for nine months I carried this precious lil’ life inside MY body. I ate right and took care of myself so this lil’ life could enter this world healthy. Spent countless hours worrying about my decision to place or not, so I could turn around and forget about her/him? Make sense? Not at all! I made every decision during my pregnancy and after because I cared about my baby.
When making my decision whether to place my baby for adoption or not, I made a mental list of why I wanted to keep my baby and why I should place my baby. It didn’t take long to realize, the list of why I wanted to keep, were all reasons that ultimately benefited me and my emotions. When I listed the reasons to place my baby, I noticed there were more reasons that truly benefited my baby and not me. (I’m sure some of you will debate this, but again, I am basing my answers off of my own experience) My whole reason to choose adoption was because I cared more about my baby then how I may or may not feel after placement.
Forgetting about a life that grew inside of you is next to impossible. I did not place my baby for adoption so I could forget. In fact, I started Birth Mother Baskets as a way to show my baby I never forgot. I have always had her close to my heart while helping other expectant parents, birth parents and adoptive couples on their own adoption journey.
Myths #3 Adoption is about secrets.
As a teenager with an unplanned pregnancy I can tell you this… I was NOT sent away by my shameful family. My baby was NOT taken from me after I gave birth. I was NOT forbidden to speak about adoption.
Adoption in 2014 is exactly where adoption should have started. The adoption process and the openness is agreed upon between the expectant parents and the adoptive couple. Most agencies will consult with their expectant parents on how much communication they would like. Then the agency can guide their expectant parents to the adoptive couples who are open to those requests, whether that be open or closed placements.
It is also rare, now a days, for the adoptee to not know of his/her adoption. Adoptive parents today share about their child’s adoption from day one, in age appropriate ways. The days of secrecy are long gone and speaking about adoption openly has become the norm.
Teenage pregnancy help: If you are considering adoption, looking for a couple to adopt your baby, facing an unwanted pregnancy or just want to know more about adoption as a whole. Please, continue to follow us here www.birthmotherbaskets.org Email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org We can connect you with one of our Expectant Parent Peers to help answer your questions.
Educate yourself on what your options are, so you in return can make an educated decision that is best for you and your baby.