One of the most common questions birth moms are asked by potential adoptive parents is...
“What stood out to you in your Adoptive Family Profile, that made you pick them?”
And the most common response (along with my own) is…
It just felt right.
I had a sense of peace.
I went with my gut feeling.
I just knew.
Everytime I answer an adoptive couple with this kind of response I can sense their frustration, because “It just felt right” doesn’t help guide them in anyway to create Parent Profiles that stand out. Though there is much honesty in this response, I want to point out a few things that may help you as hopeful adoptive couples.
While considering placing my child for adoption, I looked through hundreds of parent profiles with really not much direction into what I was looking for. However, the parent profiles that did stand out had the following:
They were Authentic. They were Genuine. They were Positive. They had a sense of Confidence. There was Laughter and silliness.
And yes, all of the above is easy to sense in even a one page profile.
In my personal situation, the adoptive mother was also adopted. This stood out to me right away. Placing a child for adoption, obviously at first, was foreign to me, my family and my friends. We really knew nothing about adoption and I felt a sense of relief that this adoptive mother would be able to answer questions that would obviously arise from an adoptee.
The characteristics of the adoptive father also stood out to me. He seemed very playful, silly, involved and loyal. I saw this in his words and the photos that were included in their parent profile. The relationship between the adoptive father and my baby were very important to me.
One birth mom’s experience in choosing an adoptive family has always stuck with me. This young girl had always wanted to attend a college very far from where she lived. With her circumstances, attending this college was never an option. When she was considering adoption and looking through hopeful adoptive couples, she saw a photo of the adoptive father wearing a sweatshirt with the name of the college she had always wanted to attend. This was her ‘just felt right’ moment and she placed her baby with this family.
Remember, when it comes to Adoptive Family Profiles, it is the littlest details that stand out the most.