Gave love. Gave life, but NEVER gave up!
Why is it so important for us to remind people outside of the adoption triad that the words ‘GAVE UP’ should not be used when discussing a birth parent’s placement? Bottom line; it hurts! I could go on a huge tangent for hours on how much the words hurt, but it truly isn’t necessary. Every time I hear someone say “You gave up your baby for adoption” my stomach instantly knots up and I get angry. Of course I instantly try to correct them and say, “I placed my baby for adoption” but not everyone gets it. Some choose to continue to say it as if our child is a piece of unwanted furniture or an old pair of shoes. "Give up" implies a lack of value. They are precious human beings. They are our heart. We loved them so much that we chose to give them more.
Language at its best, honors the self-referencing choices of the persons involved, utilizes inclusive terms and phrases, and is sensitive to the feelings of the primary parties. Language evolves with social attitudes and experiences. As we’ve delved in to the world of social media and recent television interviews it was apparent that the proper language of adoption is not widely known or used.
“You’re the voice, try and understand it. Make a noise and make it clear. We’re not gonna sit in silence. We’re not gonna live in fear…” – John Farnham
This quote is a reminder that we do have a voice. We have a chance to make a difference. This is our mission. To teach and advocate for this change. If children being parented by their birth parents are not spoken of like a piece of furniture, why is it ok for children placed for adoption to not have the same courtesy? We have made a raw video of birth mom’s using their voices to explain that we all placed our children. Unscripted and made with love (and no money because hey…we’re a poor Non Profit!) Please take a moment to like and share our video. Be a part of the voice!
We have loved them since we knew of them. We Gave Love, Gave Life, but Never Gave Up. #PLACED
Written by: Jessalynn
When Gina presented the idea of this campaign to me, the hamster in my head started running and didn't stop. I was so excited. This is something i really love to talk about. I do not necessarily look down on people who use Gave up if they use it because that is all they know. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who use it as a derogatory term. I thought very carefully about my decision to place, it was not something done on a whim or out of coercion. When it came time to place, i carefully #placed my daughter into her families arms and was at peace. I knew it was the right thing to do. I have given up an old couch, a washer and dryer, and sweets. But I will never say that I gave up my sweet baby girl.