Written by: Lindsey Mathis
People give up many things in life. I personally, have given up drinking soda, old clothes that no longer fit, free time, I gave up dating, and the list could go on and on. However, there is one thing that I did NOT give up. I never gave up my child!
Before I entered the world of adoption, I had no idea what the correct terminology was. I am guilty of saying “gave up for adoption”, “giving up for adoption”, and “put up for adoption”, as I am sure many people are. Because we just don’t know!
While I was considering my options as a newly single and pregnant mom the term “gave up” never felt right with me. So, I started using “put up for adoption” it felt better, but it still didn’t sit well with me.
Then I met with my adoption agency and picked up quickly that the CORRECT term is “placed for adoption”. It just makes sense! Now, as a birth mom any time I hear someone use the term “gave up for adoption” it makes me cringe! It literally makes my heart ache. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. The thought that anyone could possibly think that we didn’t want our children, so we just gave them away, horrifies me! Which is why we are doing our damnedest to educate people, and make the word spread like wild fire!
We as birth mothers did not GIVE up our children! We did what we knew was best for them. We made the conscientious decision to give our children a life that we (at the time) were unable to give them. It’s done out of pure love for our precious babies. We gave them more, but we did not give them up. We gave LOVE, gave LIFE, but we NEVER gave up! The one thing we did give away was our whole heart, to that child.
I love my child more than life itself, there is no greater love than the love I have for my child. I would never give him up. I PLACED my child for adoption. I lovingly and carefully PLACED him into the arms of his mother. I created a family.
I know I speak for most birth moms when I say this. Please, friends, family, and acquaintances try to make the effort to change your terminology when referring to a child who was placed for adoption, or a birth mother who has placed her child for adoption. It would mean the world to us.
Gave love. Gave life. But NEVER gave up. #Placed.