I am so excited to welcome Amanda to our BMB team! We asked her a few questions about her placement and her life now, to help our BMB followers get to know her more.
Question: Tell us your adoption story in 600 words or less.
Answer: Lets see if I can do this…I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 years old. I had just graduated high school and only had college in my plans for the future. Two short weeks after graduation I found out I was pregnant. I knew no matter how much I wanted to be, I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I wanted the best for my baby and wasn’t willing to give her any less. She deserved a mom and a dad and no matter how much I tried, I could never play the role of father. My sweet girls life is shared with me through pictures and letters and I am blessed by the love her adoptive family has given me. They are amazing and I believe were always meant to be her forever family. It’s been 9 years since I placed T into her parents arms, and even though not a day goes by where I don’t think of her, I know that she is living the life she was meant to live. I could have loved her, I do love her, and I will always love her, but I never would have been able to give her the life she deserved. Adoption made the life I dreamed for her possible.
Question: Have you reconnected with your baby, if so, share this experience in 400 words or less.
Answer: I have not seen my sweet T since the day I placed her in her parents arms. She was 3 days old. I hope that one day we may reconnect on a more personal level but for now I am grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given to be a part of her life. I know that she knows she is adopted and is aware of me as her birthmother and for now, that is enough, it has to be enough. I can’t dwell on what I cannot have.
Question: What advice would you give to expectant parents who are considering placing their baby for adoption?
Answer: First and foremost, you MUST think of your baby. In this entire situation, your baby is the only one who doesn’t have a voice. You are their voice. Adoption isn’t about what’s best for you; it’s about what’s best for your baby. It will undeniably be the hardest decision you will ever have to make, but I promise you, if you make this decision with your baby in mind, it will be worth it. All the challenges, tears, and struggles, will all be worth it.
Question: What would you say to help educate people on adoption?
Answer: Is it terrible of me to use the old cliché, “it’s about love”. It really is, all about love. I’ve yet to meet a birth mom who didn’t put the needs of their baby first, and to do something so selflessly can only be about love. I didn’t place my child for adoption because I didn’t want her or because I wanted to “run from my mistakes”. I placed her for adoption because she deserved more. I wanted her to have more. Thankfully there was a family out there waiting for her, ready to give her all that she needed and more. My sweet T now not only has all the love in the world from me and other members of her birth family, but she has all the love of her adoptive family. She is loved more than I ever could have imagined.
Question: In three words describe what adoption means to you?
Answer: How about one? Hope.
Questions: Why do you want to support other birth moms?
Answer: When I started my adoption journey as an 18 year old girl I felt helpless and alone. Luckily, I ended up in an area where there was a huge support group for expecting parents and prospective birthmoms. Without that support group I am not sure I would be where I am today. It was the girls who came post placement that really helped me heal. They gave me a hope for the future and an understanding that things were going to be okay. I want to be that person for someone else. I want birth mothers to know that life will go on and that although times can be hard, life does get better. It’s hard to feel like you’re the only one in the world to wind up pregnant at an unexpected time, and to find support from others and to know you’re not alone, can provide some of the best healing.
Question: What's life like now?
Answer: It’s been 9 years since I placed. Since then I have met my forever companion and am now a forever parent to two beautiful children; a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 18 months. Being a mother is the most incredible job in the world. Don’t get me wrong, it can be challenging at times but I am so grateful to be able to be the mother to my two beautiful children. My husband is an amazing man who works hard and supports us fully. I never thought I could find love after placement, and my husband proved to me how very wrong I was. He loves me every day, and loves me more than I ever could have imagined.
We currently reside in Henderson Nevada where I hate the summers but love the spring. My kids and I spend lots of time together playing games, reading books, and my daughters’ favorite, coloring. While I hate the summer heat, we love spending time at the pool and try to find happiness even though we sometimes feel like we are burning to death. My husband and I enjoy spending our alone time watching movies and getting to know one another more. You think you’d know all you need to know about a person after 8 years of marriage, but surprisingly I learn something new every day. I love him unconditionally and am so grateful that he is a part of my life. He works hard every day as a Physical Therapist and comes home to be the best Dad possible. He never hesitates to play with the kids and is always willing and ready to help me where needed. He just graduated from school last May as a Physical Therapist and we are SO happy to be done with that part of our lives. However, I hope to some day return to school. I have always wanted to work as a counselor or social worker and have had an interest in psychology since I was in middle school. Maybe one day I’ll get there but for now I enjoy just being a mom and wife. My life is pretty happy.