Gina’s Placement Story
I was nineteen years old when I found out I was pregnant. The birth father and I had been dating for two years on and off. When I told him I was pregnant he suggested I get an abortion. I remember him saying ‘I just want this to all go away.’ Those were harsh words to hear and I knew I could never consider having an abortion. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I moved to AZ to live with my brother and his family. It was in AZ that I decided to place my baby for adoption.
I looked at many hopeful adoptive couples and felt I had found the perfect parents for my little butterfly. I will never forget the day she was born. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, but in my heart I knew she was not mine to keep. She belonged to this family and I was grateful they could give her, at that time, what I could not. So much joy and pain filled my heart and soul. At times, I can still feel every ounce of my body aching to hold her.
My husband and I started dating while I was pregnant. He held my hand every step of the way. He was there for me when I needed to cry or scream. He suffered threw my outburst of emotions. He supported my decision to place and continues to support me everyday. We now have three beautiful children of our own. They all know that they have a sister, who mommy placed for adoption. We have many conversations about adoption at our house and questions about where my little butterfly is.
Not long after I placed, I started Birth Mother Baskets. At first, it was a small Christmas service project for me to do. I wanted to show support to other birth mothers and let them know it’s ok to talk about their placement, to be proud of their decision. I wanted every birth mom to have something they could take home with them, after they placed. I didn’t want them to go home with empty arms.
I will never forget the car ride home, after placement, looking over at that empty car seat and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that came over me. No one in my family knew anything about adoption and I truly felt, at that time, no one would ever fully understand what I was going through.
I thought of a gift basket full of items, just for the birth mom, that would show her she is not alone. I took all the resources I had, which wasn’t much, and called around to every local business that I thought might donate. My small goal of filling 20 baskets became 60 baskets! I was thrilled with the response that I received. I delivered each basket to a local hospital or adoption agency.
It’s been thirteen years since I placed my baby for adoption and not a day goes by that I don’t think about my little butterfly. Yes, there is still that aching feeling to hold her, but I know I made the right choice. The Birth Mother Baskets didn’t stop after that first Christmas. We have filled over 500 baskets since I started. Every time I fill another basket I think about my little butterfly. I pray, she will, someday know of the countless hours I have spent serving other birth mothers, with her as my strength and inspiration.